Bob, the Unmerciful

Bob: (singing) Allelu, allelu, alleluia praise ye the Lord, allelu, allelu, Fred: Hey Bob !! Bob: ooh ahhhhhhh! Man, you gotta give me some kind of a warning before you sneak up me. Fred: Yeah well, I think I’ve given you enough warnings about another little item we need to straighten out. Bob: Yeah, I know . I guess you’re talking about that money I owe you, what was it $5 or something? Fred: 5 bucks!! Have you’ve been eating moldy toast or something? Try $50 bucks, since 2nd grade. Bob: 2nd grade... You’d think that was a hundred years ago or something. Fred: Uh, Bob Bob: Yes? Fred: We’re in college! Bob: Who’s counting? Fred: Well, I’ve got to have this money or else. Bob: Or else what? Fred: Or else I’ll have to sell your X Box games you left at my house. Bob: You wouldn’t! Fred: Watch me! Bob: You couldn’t! Fred: (picks up phone) Yes operator, could you please give me the number to game stop? Bob: No, Fred nooooo, (sobbing and crying at Fred’s feet) You (sniff) can’t (sniff) take (Sniff) my(sniff) gamehames(sniffffff) Fred: Bob, you’re scaring me , get a hold of yourself. Fred: Listen Bob, I can’t stand to see a grown puppet cry so stop your snorting, I’m just going to forget about the $50, just pretend it didn’t happen. On one condition. Bob: What’s that Fred? Fred: Wipe your boogers off my shoes. Bob: Oh thank you Fred, (wiping his shoes) ooh hold on I missed a spot, it’s the sticky kind you know. Fred: That’s good, Bob. Bob: (walks down the road and spots Taquito the man who owes him 14 cents) Bob: Hey Taquito! Taquito: Hey Roberto! Bob: I was kind of wondering when you were going get around to paying me that 14 cents you owe me. I’ve got a hankering for a snickers bar, if you know what I mean. I need to be satisfied. Taquito: Well, Bob I know I owe you 14 cents, but I will have to give it to next week, I needed it to buy some medicine, my sister has a real bad cold. I am afraid I am all out of money until next Tuesday. Bob: TUESDAY!!! Boo Hoo Hoo, You wasted my money on a little cold. Don’t you even care that I can only be satisfied by that rich mixture of caramel and peanuts, topped with a chocolate coating of perfection, have you no mercy? Taquito: Look I feel for you Bob and I truly am sorry, I hope you can forgive me. Be patient with me and I will pay you back. Bob: I will do no such thing. You leave me no choice but to march down to your house and take the medicine away from your sister until you have repaid me IN FULL!! Bob: I now have the medicine in my possession. We’ll see how long it takes him to come up with my money now. Fred: Hey Bob! Bob: Oh, hi old sticky shoes, just kidding, what’s up Fred? Fred: I just heard a rumor through the grapevine that you took Taquito’s sister’s medicine, because he owed you 14 cents. Is this true? Bob: Well duh, I’m gonna give it back as soon as he pays me. Fred: Well listen to me Bob, I showed mercy on you when you asked me, you should have mercy on Taquito just as I had mercy for you. Now I will take your games until you have paid me back the whole amount you owe me. Taquito: (Talking to the audience) This is what Jesus said about people who are unmerciful: My Father in heaven will treat you in the same way that Fred treated Bob, if you are like Bob and do not forgive your brothers from your heart. The End